All tagged Alisa Jane

Hope in the Unexpected

It was a year ago today that we entered what would become one of the most difficult and trying experiences of our lives. The sun shined brightly that 2nd day of September, and I was 30 weeks pregnant, my abdomen swollen with life. For all intents and purposes, life was normal…except that it wasn’t.

The Day My Eyes Adjusted

I have a friend whose baby has Down syndrome. Her little girl is about four months older than Alisa. We met through social media, and our friendship formed quickly into a bond of understanding and camaraderie as we both journeyed on this path we did not choose. We have since met in person, but the majority of our interactions have taken place through emails and text messages.

Early on, when Alisa was still in her newborn stage, I wrote to my friend about the struggle of my deep and abiding love for my baby, but also the deep and overwhelming grief I felt in her diagnosis. The grieving would come in waves so that some days were peaceful, while others were filled with sadness. My friend understood these feelings because she, too, was walking the same road. On that day in that particular email, I told my friend how not a day had gone by that I did not think of or see Down syndrome in Alisa. 

Joy, Pain, and Paradox

I sit here this morning as drops of fresh rain dance upon our aluminum rooftop. The coffee in my mug has gone nearly cold after sitting by my side for a while, but I will remedy that soon enough with a fresh cup from the French press. On the other side of our home, my family still rests. I nursed Alisa in the early hours of the morning, and she sleeps in my bed now, her stomach warmed and full. I carry my bucket to the wellspring of life, drawing the waters of eternal, soul-quenching salvation. I drink of the Living Water of Christ.

Joy Comes with the Morning

Have you ever experienced that unnerving feeling in your spirit that something isn’t right? No matter how hard you try to ignore it or to snuff it out, the feeling is persistent and insistent. 

I hate that feeling. 

Last week, I loaded Alisa in the minivan and took her to an appointment with a pediatric ophthalmologist. We had been waiting to see a doctor for her eyes. For the last month or so, we noticed that Alisa’s eyesight did not seem to be what we’d expect at this point. Lack of eye contact and little eye tracking were among the other outward symptoms prompting that feeling of discomfort to arise within me. As a parent, I’m not sure anything is more unnerving than realizing something might not be working correctly with your child’s eyes.